Daddy Dima's Day Care
🍼 A subsidiary of Nap Time, Inc. 🍼
Where diapers get changed, minds get napped, and every single day ends in .care.
🌐 daddydimaday.care — say it five times fast, we dare you
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A Message From Management (Dima)
Daddy Dima's Day Care was founded on one radical idea: that small humans deserve big naps. We are not licensed by any actual authority — mostly because we haven't finished the paperwork — but we are licensed in vibes, snacks, and the fine art of finding the other shoe. Drop off your gremlin, pick up a slightly louder gremlin. That's the Dima guarantee.
Our Programs
Rigorously invented curricula, taught by nobody with a teaching degree.
Tummy Time University
A rigorous four-minute program in the ancient art of lying on the floor and judging us.
The Crawl Space
Early mobility bootcamp. Graduates receive a diploma and immediately try to eat it.
Snack Bar Association
Crust-related disputes settled by a jury of one very tired toddler. Verdict is final and loud.
Nap Notary Public
Every nap officially witnessed, stamped, and never disturbed. We will fight you about this.
Diaper Change of Command
A rotating leadership structure for the job nobody wants. Term limits: immediate.
Toddler TED Talks
Unhinged three-minute keynotes on topics like "Why The Blue Cup" and, simply, "No."
What Nobody Actually Said (But We Wish They Did)
100% satirical. 0% legally binding.
Meet Daddy Dima
Dima has a professional background in absolutely nothing childcare-related, three children of increasing volume, and an unshakable belief that snacks solve 90% of conflicts. (The other 10% are also solved by snacks — just bigger ones.) Certifications include Infant CPR (real), Chief Sock-Finding Officer (self-appointed), and a black belt in stepping on Lego bricks without making a sound.
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